Baqar's Blog

 But why do you need to fit in? Who said you needed another? Have they ever brought you any joy? Have their words ever brought forth any fruits you cherish? Is isolation not independence? Is solitude not strength? Is your expectation of superficial roses without thorns underneath not misaligned with reality? I don't see the problem here or do you?

Disclaimer: The following story contains themes that might not be suitable for young readers.  As he reached the rooftop, he locked the entrance as a reflex action. The rooftop was the most commonplace it could be. Heaps of dust, faded red painted bricks, and rusty metal bars. The world below seemed to continue like it always does. The wind was phenomenally comforting today, as if inviting one to join arms with it. He stared down the road four stories below and observed the everyday traffic jam. Drivers honk at each other, a few just parked their cars wherever they could and congregated to catch a smoke, some complaining as if that would change a thing or two. This happens everyday and yet they never learn.  While he was on the edge keenly looking down on those beneath him, he was startled by the sound of metal bars dropping. His face lost its vigor as he saw a woman clad in white standing at the tip of a beam.  "Don't!", he screamed instinctively.  She gazed towards...

“Even though I also wanted to study well like you - I couldn't. Then I thought, ‘Oh, I'm trash. I'm completely useless. I might as well die’... so I gave up. I ran away. But while doing other things and living diligently, I realized I wasn't really running away. Maybe it was more like I was searching for a world where I fit; where I could find my own cheat-like ability. Something like travelling you could say. Maybe... Most people who think they're pathetic right now... Just haven't found their world yet.” — From The Greatest Estate Developer

Sure, my life alone is meaningless. But what if everyone began to think this way? What if everyone fell into despair at the feet of their powerlessness? What if everyone thought all their efforts were, in fact, meaningless? Wouldn't the world as we know it cease to exist? Then, does this mean our lives are - in fact - meaningful?

 Part of me wants to learn Korean, while part of me is satisfied reading the subtitles. Part of me tells me to quit my job, but part of me tells me I need the money. Part of me tells me to start my own agency, whereas part of me wants to rest. Part of me seeks love and validation, though part of me believes isolation is independence. Part of me wants to crack a stupid joke; however, part of me is too reserved. Part of me wants to write this blog, yet part of me is fearful of what others think. Part of me knows there will be a reader; nonetheless, part of me argues on why that even matters. Part of me wants to move on — albeit part of me holds that memory dear. Part of me wants to pursue a Master's degree, despite part of me worrying about my wellbeing. Part of me wants life and time to stop — even though part of me hopes for something to happen. Part of me wants to part away, but it just can't.

I often wonder, when given the option to choose to travel to the past or to the future, why do I always choose the future? Is it because I had no regrets in my life? Is it because I am too excited about the future? Is it because I cannot face my past once again? Is it because going back to the past makes me look like a loser? Is it because choosing the future makes me look cooler? Or is it because I never made any memories worth looking back at?

I have always thought about the purpose of our existence and the staggering absurdity behind the workings of this world. Maybe we are all characters in a divine story. Maybe that is why we have wars. Maybe that is why there's injustice. Maybe that is why no one - no matter how hard they try - can foresee the future. Well, if we are actually a part of a heavenly theatrical performance, what would my role here be?  The main character? Too shy and cowardly for that.  A side character? Too absent for that.  A background extra? Too arrogant for that.  Maybe my existence transcends all these roles. Maybe I am a bookmark. A bookmark that forces you to stop, take a breather, and assimilate all that has happened to you before moving ahead.

And I got off the bus, half sleepy, half awake. While picking up my luggage from the upper compartments within the bus, the corner of my right eye caught a glimpse of a familiar face. He is a friend from college - he was a friend from college. Someone I knew, someone I hung out with. With a single image memories of a distant past flashed through my mind - all the times the ten of us were hung on the monkey bars within the park in front of our college, all the times we, the largest group in class, entered with pride, all the places we ate at, all the times we calculated who paid more or who paid less, all those Foosball tournaments and all those moments of joy. I was ashamed to face him. Looking at how I have fallen in these years, I no longer have the courage to stand in front of anyone who knew me. I am not a lost cause, but I am certainly not the person they used to know. Everything they admired, idolised, and praised me for is gone, replaced with traits, better or worse. I left the...

Back then I never understood the rebellious nature of some individuals. I was often motivated to believe that they were simply slackers in pursuit of euphoria without any effort. While some may desire this, most didn't. They were far more wiser than we were, and they pondered hours more on what we followed relentlessly. While we were flowing with the wind, following someone else's dreams religiously, they were carving their own destiny. While all have a wish to become someone, most realise too late that it was not their own dream they have been following. Ideas implanted within your mind, thoughts that aren't yours constantly chanted to you, opinions presented as prestigious norms, and yet under all this manipulation you daresay what you think is a product of your own consciousness.

 Entertainment is a topic my brain constantly revolves around, but what is entertainment? In our society, entertainment is more often than not perceived as a form of visual media - it could be television shows, YouTube videos, or Instagram Reels. Though it could also encompass other digital domains such as auditory media (music) or graphics (memes, aesthetics, etc.). However, this isn't the only thing. Entertainment could be any sports - or is that called passion nowadays - or outdoor activities such as concerts, travel, or food. But my stance is, is that all? As a society we have developed the notion that entertainment or enjoyment has to be something conspicuous, something clearly visible to the general public. It has to be evident. It has to be something flashy that others could see, evaluate and label as socially acceptable. However, if entertainment is meant to bring joy to an individual or a group of specific people, why should it undergo a senseless metric developed by s...

  As a society, we have a natural tendency to blame and to complain. Whoever, I meet up with, whatever we may talk about, wherever we may be, the conversation ends up complaining, blaming someone or something for whatever undesired happens. But why? Why do we tend to do so? Why do we tend to highlight all the problems even though they are already apparent? Why do we often blame our incompetence upon others rather than accepting the blame? Why do we worry about what’s out of our control and spend a considerable degree of time whining about it? If all of us are fixated on identifying issues, then who would form solutions? What motivates this behavior? Is it a deep rooted cognitive distortion that we are not good enough? Is it a coping mechanism to shield us from our insecurities? Does forcing others under the hood of blame, and not yielding responsibility ourselves, protects us from the tireless process of pain and incessant effort? Does blaming other people or circumstances fore...

 The exam hall is an indescribable place. The moment you enter you see all sorts of faces. There are those filled with hope, aspirations, prepared for a successful future. Then, there are those overwhelmed with regret,  condemning their own ignorance, wishing if only they had done better. Then, there are those afraid, fearful of the unseen, fearful of what's about to come. There are some who simply don't care; they are uninterested and couldn't care less about anyone around. It's the perfect representation of life. But these faces, when they see you, what do they think? Do they look down at you because you got that question wrong once? Do they show surprise on your calmness? Do they think of you as a stray person who is even more lost than them? Or do they look up to you? Believing that you would be the one with all the answers, the one would do everything perfectly. Isn't it amusing? Do you not feel the slightest bit of satisfaction in your abilities the moment you...

Since 2023 is going to be a different year (well every year is, is it not so?), I thought I should revive this blog. The least I get is an archive of my ideas to revisit sometime later. Ciao.

"From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. So all life is a great chain, the nature of which is known whenever we are shown a single link of it. Like all other arts, the Science of Deduction and Analysis is one which can only be acquired by long and patient study nor is life long enough to allow any mortal to attain the highest possible perfection in it. Before turning to those moral and mental aspects of the matter which present the greatest difficulties, let the enquirer begin by mastering more elementary problems. Let him, on meeting a fellow-mortal, learn at a glance to distinguish the history of the man, and the trade or profession to which he belongs. Puerile as such an exercise may seem, it sharpens the faculties of observation, and teaches one where to look and what to look for. By a man’s finger nails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boot, by his trouser knees, by the callositie...

“ There are many types of monsters in this world: Monsters who will not show themselves and who cause trouble; monsters who abduct children; monsters who devour dreams; monsters who suck blood, and… monsters who always tell lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance. They are much more cunning than other monsters. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart. They eat even though they've never experienced hunger. They study even though they have no interest in academics. They seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by it. Because in truth, I am that monster. ” Disclaimer: The preceding text is an abstract from  Death Note Relight 2 . In any case, the writer of this blog does not claim the ownership of this text and has shared this passage only because it resembles his own opinions.

Note: This message is endorsed by Baqar and comprises mainly of opinions. The views may not be universally accepted. Well, honestly that is a question I think about whenever I feel like I need to watch a show. The Flash  is a show I began watching last year, 2017's May. Apparently, the main reason I preferred Flash over Arrow was because I saw Flash's Season 1 on my television while Arrow's Season 4 (which is the lamest according to most people) used to play through a mysterious channel on my television. I signed up for an iflix  account and had access to all 3 seasons. Without a shadow of doubt, I would suggest that its first season is worth watching, one of the best shows. The first season has a real mystery, significant problems, character development, amazing crossovers, light humour and much more than just a guy running at super-speed fighting crimes. However, the second season was not that appealing, it was a bit satisfactory but not touching and the third season ...

Well, I believe I should provide a preface or an idea of how I watch shows. Slowly, in a more enjoyable way than binge watching. Limitless has just one season, so I won't suggest anyone to binge watch it. Anyone reading this should not worry about any spoilers in this article. At most, it would include references to the first episode or my opinions on some episodes. Let's just begin: The show is a sequel to the movie of the same name, but this time the main character is Brian Finch. The show stars Jake McDorman as Brian Finch, an average 28-year old screw-up who gets a nootropic that literally makes him the smartest person alive, and he is immune to its side-effects (which you would find out after watching the first episode). Consequently, the FBI hires him. There's Edward Morra (Bradley Cooper who was the main character of the movie, Limitless) and Rebecca Harris (Jennifer Carpenter) who is a FBI agent. The show combines the element of comedy, mystery and action being ...

What I am about to say would be considered highly unethical, some may agree while others would argue. Don’t accept it, what can I do? I can’t do a thing, after all it’s my own opinion, my own claim but yet after listening to me even some part of your brain would agree that I am right. You may resist the thought. Do whatever you want to, my point is just listen to me carefully. Drug. Everybody has his own drug. A substance, a feeling, an action, a phrase, an event, anything that compels the user to work and carry out his required tasks. People around me, or practically everyone, is a drug addict. Some smoke cigarettes, weed, or pot while some just drink soft drinks to fizz them up. The point is that we all need something, some necessary action without which we are incomplete. Some of us want to watch television, some may want to play, some like to sleep while others just lay around reading books, mumbling and doing weird stuff. All this provides us energy and motivate us to do the j...

Well, they opened up my Twitter account. Yeah, I was surprised too. Wondering what took them so long.   

One day people would.