Baqar's Blog

I have always thought about the purpose of our existence and the staggering absurdity behind the workings of this world. Maybe we are all characters in a divine story. Maybe that is why we have wars. Maybe that is why there's injustice. Maybe that is why no one - no matter how hard they try - can foresee the future. Well, if we are actually a part of a heavenly theatrical performance, what would my role here be?  The main character? Too shy and cowardly for that.  A side character? Too absent for that.  A background extra? Too arrogant for that.  Maybe my existence transcends all these roles. Maybe I am a bookmark. A bookmark that forces you to stop, take a breather, and assimilate all that has happened to you before moving ahead.

And I got off the bus, half sleepy, half awake. While picking up my luggage from the upper compartments within the bus, the corner of my right eye caught a glimpse of a familiar face. He is a friend from college - he was a friend from college. Someone I knew, someone I hung out with. With a single image memories of a distant past flashed through my mind - all the times the ten of us were hung on the monkey bars within the park in front of our college, all the times we, the largest group in class, entered with pride, all the places we ate at, all the times we calculated who paid more or who paid less, all those Foosball tournaments and all those moments of joy. I was ashamed to face him. Looking at how I have fallen in these years, I no longer have the courage to stand in front of anyone who knew me. I am not a lost cause, but I am certainly not the person they used to know. Everything they admired, idolised, and praised me for is gone, replaced with traits, better or worse. I left the...

Back then I never understood the rebellious nature of some individuals. I was often motivated to believe that they were simply slackers in pursuit of euphoria without any effort. While some may desire this, most didn't. They were far more wiser than we were, and they pondered hours more on what we followed relentlessly. While we were flowing with the wind, following someone else's dreams religiously, they were carving their own destiny. While all have a wish to become someone, most realise too late that it was not their own dream they have been following. Ideas implanted within your mind, thoughts that aren't yours constantly chanted to you, opinions presented as prestigious norms, and yet under all this manipulation you daresay what you think is a product of your own consciousness.

 Entertainment is a topic my brain constantly revolves around, but what is entertainment? In our society, entertainment is more often than not perceived as a form of visual media - it could be television shows, YouTube videos, or Instagram Reels. Though it could also encompass other digital domains such as auditory media (music) or graphics (memes, aesthetics, etc.). However, this isn't the only thing. Entertainment could be any sports - or is that called passion nowadays - or outdoor activities such as concerts, travel, or food. But my stance is, is that all? As a society we have developed the notion that entertainment or enjoyment has to be something conspicuous, something clearly visible to the general public. It has to be evident. It has to be something flashy that others could see, evaluate and label as socially acceptable. However, if entertainment is meant to bring joy to an individual or a group of specific people, why should it undergo a senseless metric developed by s...

  As a society, we have a natural tendency to blame and to complain. Whoever, I meet up with, whatever we may talk about, wherever we may be, the conversation ends up complaining, blaming someone or something for whatever undesired happens. But why? Why do we tend to do so? Why do we tend to highlight all the problems even though they are already apparent? Why do we often blame our incompetence upon others rather than accepting the blame? Why do we worry about what’s out of our control and spend a considerable degree of time whining about it? If all of us are fixated on identifying issues, then who would form solutions? What motivates this behavior? Is it a deep rooted cognitive distortion that we are not good enough? Is it a coping mechanism to shield us from our insecurities? Does forcing others under the hood of blame, and not yielding responsibility ourselves, protects us from the tireless process of pain and incessant effort? Does blaming other people or circumstances fore...

 The exam hall is an indescribable place. The moment you enter you see all sorts of faces. There are those filled with hope, aspirations, prepared for a successful future. Then, there are those overwhelmed with regret,  condemning their own ignorance, wishing if only they had done better. Then, there are those afraid, fearful of the unseen, fearful of what's about to come. There are some who simply don't care; they are uninterested and couldn't care less about anyone around. It's the perfect representation of life. But these faces, when they see you, what do they think? Do they look down at you because you got that question wrong once? Do they show surprise on your calmness? Do they think of you as a stray person who is even more lost than them? Or do they look up to you? Believing that you would be the one with all the answers, the one would do everything perfectly. Isn't it amusing? Do you not feel the slightest bit of satisfaction in your abilities the moment you...